What are the two most important questions? Well, that kind of depends.
How’s that for burying the lead?
But there are some foundational characteristics we need to find out when we work with our athletes. One is do they have something to share that will dramatically impact the program? If we can understand more by asking if there is something that we as the coaches should know in regards to their ability to do something makes a huge difference. The second question is do you feel comfortable doing what I ask? If we can access their perspective on doing something for us, we can further understand their willingness to do anything.
Another way to look at this is do you believe me and do you trust me?
We have to appreciate that our athletes entrust us with their safety and that might be taken for granted. For the sake of efficiency, we cannot ask every athlete before every set if they trust us. But that does not mean we should take that granted either. The assumption is they do trust when they comply with our program. However, the absence of disagreement does not always mean agreement. Social aspects of a program might pressure someone to do something they do not want to do. We accept their compliance as belief but that could very well likely be a huge misinterpretation. We need to be more diligent with the level of requests we are asking someone when training with us.
On the other hand, we might be working off the false premise that they believe us. Following is different than understanding. Assimilation is equal parts giving the impression of understanding combined with actual understanding. Group dynamics are tricky because it is replication-based. Athletes copy other athletes, who in turn copied athletes that were before them. Is it a copy of a good or bad example? The truth is that we need to have a clear understanding of why we are asking to do something for our athletes to believe us. Being convincing is not the same as being convinced. We need to be confident in what we do, but we need to appreciate that confidence is the only thing that matters with understanding.
Keep it simple and fit into a normal conversation. Asking the two questions in truth usually are loaded questions. A good coach can perceive problems before they blow up into massive problems. I want to ask these questions strategically and seamlessly within a program. If an athlete is grimacing in pain during a warm-up drill, they will not feel miraculously better during a loaded exercise. In that moment allowing the athlete to express themselves builds instant trust. It shows the program is not more important the pain they are currently experiencing. The caveat to that is having a contingency that will facilitate a program that is now needs to be amended. Having a plan that responds to dynamic circumstances builds belief. I can change the recipe cause I made the recipe. My athletes need to know I can still put together a great program regardless of circumstances.
Feel free to change the questions. One important aspect here is the need to facilitate trust and belief with every interaction. One strategy could be to accrue points of contact to build rapport. Small talk adds up to big relationships. Asking how their weekend was or having a point of common interest makes a huge difference in the overall relationship. Demonstrate real interest in the person you are coach becomes a critical aspect in their overall belief and trust in you.
One central aspect I want to get across is to never assume they trust and belief you. If you can do that, you will be light years ahead in the impact you have.