Working with coaches was always my greatest weakness. I always struggled with the power dynamic with coaches and being subservient to someone that I felt I worked harder than or was more capable of than. But this is a classic ‘learn from my mistakes’ situation, and my feelings were not always accurate. 

One of the things with coaches is that you need to appreciate that they are ones who are trusting you. This is a weird power dynamic that is created between S&C and sport coaches; unless you work within it, it’s hard to understand. I would not say that sport coaches are paranoid, but they have a perception that they are letting you into their ‘pack’ and will always have their guard up. 

It becomes a matter of walking a delicate line between being assertive and supportive. All at the same time you need to be confident with your ability but tread lightly and not overstep. If you develop too much rapport with athletes or you’re too focused on being an athlete’s friend instead of a coach, that can be perceived as a direct threat. If you are too assertive with the athletes, that can become viewed as you being insecure or hostile in the workplace. 

There are amazing coaches out there who admire and support their S&C coaches. They appreciate the work that you do and how you support the program. But what becomes of this is a reverse dynamic of these coaches being viewed as unicorns. We heroize these coaches as these rare beings where if we just work hard and are a good person, we may get lucky enough to work for one day. This, in turn, either makes us resentful of our working environment or makes us view ourselves as unworthy. For context, being respected and appreciated is not something you should feel guilty for. 

What becomes the great irony of all this is that the more competent we become, the more contribution we can have, but this is not the reason we will get a position. That decision is more so based on qualities that the sport coach admires. Your competency is more of an asset to be hired by other S&C coaches. At the point you are being hired directly by a sports coach, the assumption is that you are competent because another S&C coach hired you at some point. What is relevant to that sport coach is that you have a certain level of characteristics that matter to that person. 

Being the best you can be is a relative term. You are serving so many different people with egos and agendas – being the best for everyone at all times is simply not possible. You as the coach also have to create boundaries, maintain your integrity, and limit your ego. These can be viewed as opposing entities battling it out, or it can be a matter of realizing compromise and conflict are natural components within a workplace. 

I think this is where the relationship with a sports coach lives. The understanding of what points to approach with compromise and what points to approach with conflict. Never challenge your superior in front of someone else. Never let your superior undermine you in front of other people. When asked your opinion on something, give an honest answer. Be able to take a joke. Admit when you are wrong. Don’t hold it against your boss when they can’t admit when they are wrong. 

It’s not about being the bigger person; it’s about being the person you need to be. You were not hired because you are the most skilled or competent. You were hired because you hold characteristics that work well with your superior. This means being present in the moment and figuring out what you need to do to be relevant to the situation. 

At a certain point, you will be extremely thankful for an opportunity and resentful for not having enough opportunities. You have to be the one who is malleable but not too flexible or weak. My mistakes working with coaches were that I was too rigid, too arrogant, too quick to judge. This became my edge – I wanted that pressure to hold people to a high standard and in turn hold my counterparts to the same standards. In the end though, that was not what was wanted from me, and I looked for opportunities that would reward that mentality and not punish it.